So many teachers ask me, as a teacher and education consultant, whether I use reward systems. While I think we all use rewards in some capacity, teaching life skills is my preference. If a child has the ability to change his/her behavior, I say let’s take the time and effort to teach him/her how. It is true that more planning and interaction are involved. It certainly isn’t nearly as easy as handing out stickers and candy. And there’s no magic answer to “When will s/he get it?” But here’s the thing—most students I have worked with figure out reward systems pretty quickly and can manipulate them quite well. Sometimes I wonder when they are going to start expecting cars and vacations! I know that’s an exaggeration, but I do seriously wonder: Do external rewards lead to the kind of adult we want to produce? Or do we want to give a child the opportunity to learn the pleasures of practicing self control, learning new social skills, and behaving in ways that work in the world?

I agree that in order to change the extreme behaviors of certain children it is sometimes necessary and effective to offer rewards at first. But even in these circumstances I think it is important to watch for the time when their rewards can become less tangible and more internal.

The bottom line is that internal rewards, after all, are extremely motivating. Think about your own experience—what’s it like when a parent calls out of the blue to tell you what a great teacher you are? Would it have been worth the same to you if that call were simply part of a point-based reward system ?